Thirteen - Marisela

As a counselor it would seem ideal to ask Tracy what her future plans are (as Eddie suggested) but I would probably take a different approach. My focus would be on the “here and now”---what are Tracy’s current struggles? How are they affecting her feelings, thoughts, and perceptions? When studying about counseling theory, we learn that asking a client a “why” question is not appropriate because the client may not know why they are act/react in a certain manner or why they think a certain way. I would then apply the same rule to Tracy’s situation (at least until, what I believe, the bigger issues are dealt with) as the “Why” question. What I’m referring to is not asking Tracy about her future plans because these plans might not exist or they may be unclear, especially because she is dealing with peer pressure, acceptance, drugs, family issue, and as Smitty identified, internal conflict (although the science project was important to her so she might have some goals or plans about her future---Hmm, I have to think about this).
I could only empathize with Tracy on how difficult it must have been to deal with her personal problems. As adults, we may not have homework, we may not have to deal with “fitting in”, we may not have to deal with peer pressure but we replace these stressors with things that we have to do: taxes, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, work---sometimes grad school (I guess we still have to deal with homework). Therefore, I agree with Smitty about Tracy’s internal pain being so powerful that she turned to a world full of chaos. To me, Tracy was a victim of divorce and two parents who were struggling to earn enough money to live, a victim of a recovering drug mother, a victim of neglect (father), and a victim of the “cool crowd syndrome”.
I agree with Smitty that before Evie entered Tracy’s life there were clear signs that Tracy was struggling emotionally. This is evident, as Matt stated, in Tracy’s poem. I don’t recall the poem completely but I remember the tone was dark and the two lines that caught me were “Let’s just leave it at that, she says, and closes the book of lies. She covers her eyes, denying to herself what she let happen.” The way that I interpret the first line is that she was lying to someone, or her self, about something that happened to her in her past, or her struggles and feelings, and wants to forget about it. Hence, she is “denying” the event and further blaming herself for letting it “happen”.
Children, as well as parents, feel the stress and confusion of a divorce. Many kids feel angry, sad, frustrated, and even uncertain about what life will be like after divorce. As Julie stated, I imagine it was difficult for Tracy to find “balance” and a “healthy identity” after her parents divorce when her parent’s immaturity set a negative model for her. I suppose its common for divorce parents to want to start a relationship after a divorce; I’m the type of person that enjoys the company of a partner. However, it seemed that although Tracy’s mother seem to genuinely care for her daughter, she cared more about taking care of her love life first before her children, therefore, allowing her drug addict boyfriend to live with them. Now, I may be going over the top here but if the mother is taking care of her and her boyfriend’s drug recover, how much attention will she place on her children? This to me seems enough of a reason for Tracy to have the need to grow up quickly and assume an adult responsibility or rebel and give up trying to do well in school or life.
I know this is supposed to be a blog and not a paper reflecting on the movie so I just want to make a couple of views that I have about the movie. First, I don’t understand parents that try to be their children’s “best friend” and treat their children as equals rather than disciplining their children’s errant behaviors---In my opinion a parent should have open communication with their children and be trustworthy without crossing the thin line between parenthood and friendship. Second, I feel that it’s unfortunate that some parents sacrifice their children in order to reach materialistic goals as Tracy’s father seemed to be doing. Lastly, being in an abusive relationship with a friend (emotional or physical abuse) is as dangerous as being in an abusive relationship with a partner. Self esteem is worn down because of abuse, sense of options evaporated, self-care doesn’t exist, and the power of choice ends. I believe that as counselors we have to arm ourselves with tools and therefore, I will try to include an attachment of a chart that was passed on to me by a fellow coworker. If don’t succeed in adding the attachment I’ll make some copies for next Saturday. Hope everyone enjoys their week!