Thirteen - Amparo Ortiz

This film made me think of the students I have been working with for the last five years. About three years ago, I rode the bus with the eigth grade boys from a middle school where I worked. On the way to the destination, the boys were in all sitting in the the back of the bus, and I was considered "cool" enough to sit with them. They carried on with their conversation as if I was one of them, so they didn't really hold anything back. I was shocked to hear some of their conversation, and I even participated in a long discussion with one particular boy. They were talking about how when they wanted to "take away" their girlfriends' virginity and the one boy showed me how he saved his girlfriend's name in his cell phone as "Baby Mama" because he wanted to get her pregnant. He wasn't sure when it would happen, or how he would care for this child, but he knew he wanted a baby.
The film Thirteen brought me back to when I worked in a middle school and overheard many conversations like this, as well as seeing some students actually become parents. Yesterday afternoon, I actually had one of my favorited students (who is now a sophomore) just tell me that she is pregnant. She started off her statement with "You're going to scream at me." Then she proceeded to tell me what the situation was. I asked her why she thought I would scream at her, and she said "I don't know, but I know everyone else will." After reflecting on that moment and watching this film and thinking about all the conversation we have had thus far, it seems as though this student knows that what she has done is considered "wrong" by society. As a society, we generally do not approve of teenage pregnancy, so she expected me to react negatively. It's almost as though she also is not in approval of what she has done either.
Tracy in the film is trying so hard to emulate her friend, Evie and gain a popularity status in her school. She does everything Evie does, with just a second of questioning whether she should or shouldn't. It's apparent in the beginning of their friendship that she is not completlely in favor of Evie's actions, yet with just a little time, she follows. The ending shows how when she is no longer on board, Evie de-friends her and she is even more miserable after learning how far she has fallen in school.
One of the most important factors in these young girls' lives is the adults that are there for them (or not, in this case.) Evie and Tracy's mom/guardian are so wrapped up in their own lives and struggles, they are completely neglecting their young daughters in such a delicate time in their lives. There are definitely moments in the film where Evie and Tracy give small indications that they want to be loved and given attention. Tracy is cutting, and it is amazing that her mom doesn't notice the bloody rag she keeps in the bathroom that the whole family use. Her brother even states that their mom knows that he gets high from smoking marijuana. Evie's cousin, allows them to have "just 1" beer.
As a school counselor, I know these kinds of cases will be difficult. One of the most important partners in this type of working relationship is the parent. In the school where I currently work, this is also the case. Students, such as the onese I described earlier, go home and have nobody to reinforce morals and values. Add to this, the major overcrowding of public schools, and the huge caseload of teachers and counselors, so many children/students fall through the cracks because nobody is paying attention, or systematically, they just can't. However, if I were the school counselor for Tracy, and I know of the struggles she was facing. The first few times, I would meet with Tracy individually, and let her vent about everything and anything she wanted. I would definitley work on putting together a group that she could participate in as well. I would also work on meeting with her teachers to figure out ways to maintain a collaborative effort in supporting Tracy, especially with finding strategies to help her get back on track with her school work and make up any work. Finally, I would ask Tracy if we could invite her mother to the school to create a team plan for home. If necessary, I would search out agencies that I could refer them to for family counseling, but if that was not available in the area or they could not afford it, I would then try my best to offer strategies to use at home, and definitely have her mother offer input and insight, so that there is buy-in and it's not just a directive from school personnel in her eyes.