Sorry Bobo, We Are A Product Of Our Environment!

I will begin my blog with a Mike Brady (from the Brady Bunch) quote. "I couldn't have said it better myself, but I'll try". Nice posts Matt and Julie.

I know one thing for sure after working in the world of shelters, residential environments, and foster-care, we are a product of our environment. Our life experiences make us who we are, that's for sure. I have worked with children who have witnessed their parents murdered over a bad drug deal, experienced domestic violence in the home in which a parent has ended up dead, and hundreds and hundreds of children that have been exposed to porn and inapprorpriate sexual molestation. I can't help to think that without careful supervision and a structued safe environment, that these children who have been exposed to these violent and traumatic experiences will conduct themselves in the same manner in which they have been exposed.

There isn't much, if anything, that I haven't heard or seen amongst the children that I have worked with. Yet, this video sickens me still. Does anyone else wonder what happens to these kids later in life? Be it a very short experience to kicking, punching, hitting and the simulation of killing, I can't help to wonder what happened to these poor children that were subjected in this video when they grew up.

On that note. We as affective educators have to learn how to deal with these types of children, because it does exhist and it is very real. I have seen many classrooms in which aggressive students have executed a non-productive day for both the teacher and the other students. I have seen good teachers handle situations in which aggressive children have tipped over desks, broken windows, and hurt someone in the process. Even good teachers have a difficult time dealking with de-escalating and proactive measures to stop violent behaviors. I've also come to the understanding that as educators, that's not our fault, but we still must teach and set good examples for our children in hopes that they understand that there are alternatives to violent outbursts. We can not overall change the external enviornment in which our children live in, but we must instill a positive and safe environment for our students. How do we do that?

Has anyone ever heard of a man named Rick Lavoie? He is a distinguished writer and has done several videos on diffuclt children. I tend to worship his views and thoughts on how to manage and deal with challenging children. His thoughts and views are complex, but very simple. He sites a top twenty list for parents. The list suggest twenty basic principles that parents should avoid in order to present positive role models to their chld. Number four on his list is treating others with respect (Lavoie, 2005). Very simple, but means so many things. It was also stated in the book Nice Is Not Enough, were the author states that if we respect our children, then they will respect us (Nucci, 2009). I feel like this is the key to either the success or demise of our children. We must respect our students and therefore we can start a bridge to shaping and changing behavior for affective education in our classrooms.

I truly believe that as affective educators, our job is simple. We must teach first, and secondly and just as important, keep our kids safe in the school system. I submit to you all that negative reiforcement for aggressive behaviors is not the way to change behavior, but positive reinforecment is the only way to gain the desired affects in which we deem appropriate in our schools.

Unfortunately, and sorry for Bobo, but too many people in counseling positions don't have the time to help deal with home environments and the problems that exhist in the home. I submit to you that we need to make the time to build relationships with parents and our students to help maintain safe schools. In hopes, even adults can learn from adults and with our help, our parents understand that fists, guns, knives and other detrimental behaviors are not appropriate ways of showing our children how to grow up.