Thirteen~Danielle Dempsey

The movie "Thirteen" gave a shocking yet honest glimpse into the lives of adolescents, specifically middle school students. During the film, I found myself questioning whether or not these things really happen with thirteen year olds to the extent that they did in the movie. It was difficult for me to believe that these girls were engaging in such risk taking behaviors at such a young age, but thinking back to my adolescent years and remembering some of the adolescents that I have worked with, these behaviors are certainly possible and do occur everyday. Particularly when you have a child who is emotionally scarred and has been exposed to horrendous environmental conditions (i.e. divorce, drug addict parents, instability, etc.) thirteen is a prime age for these behaviors to begin. After reading through all of my classmates blogs, I began to notice a theme of three main ideas that were being discussed. First, the concept of adolescents developing their own sense of autonomy and identity while also balancing what they know is right and wrong. Second, everyone felt that Tracy was battling a lot of emotional pain due to the environmental factors that she had been exposed to throughout her life. Last, there were some great interventions and counseling techniques offered, which also highlighted the diversity of counselors we have in our very own class!

In the movie, Tracy was at a developmental stage in her life where she was trying to be independent of her family's values and develop a sense of self. For all teenagers, this can be a very confusing time because you know what is right and wrong, yet you want so badly to fit in with others and be accepted even if it means behaving in ways that are not typical of how you normally behave. If you decide to fight peer pressure then you risk social exlcusion. But if you go along with your peers then you risk your morals and possible safety. This is just another example of how the moral domain and personal domain may clash. Tracy was not only trying to prove her independence to her newfound friends, but her family as well. The irony in this is she was mimicking the exact behaviors that she originally disapproved of, which is a point I believe Nneka made in her blog.

Next, many people discussed the emotional pain and environmental factors that played a part in Tracy's emotional suffering. For every adolescent it is considered "normal" for them to develop a sense of their own identity and possibly engage in some behaviors that are not typical of them. But not all adolescents may take it to the level that Tracy and Evie did in the movie. Both girls had extremely dysfunctional home lives and were attempting to escape that life through risky behaviors. Tracy was dealing with divorced parents, a father who was emotionally checked out from her life and a mother who although was trying to be involved in her daughter's life was still trying to balance a life of sobriety with raising a family and being present in every way (physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically). Tracy felt abandoned, neglected, and insignificant. Her attention seeking behaviors were a cry for help. I believe that adolescents sometimes engage in such behaviors because they want to get caught. They do not know how to ask for help. Drinking, doing drugs, stealing, cutting, and having sex are all behaviors that scream HELP! Her mother could tell something was not right, but was not sure what to do. I don't feel that her mother was weak. I honestly cannot say what I would do as a parent either. But I can say that as a parents you are not your child's friend. Children want to know that they are safe and cared for and that is what a parent does.

Last, I noticed that everyone gave a variety of counseling techniqes or approaches that they would take if Tracy was their client. I very much enjoyed reading the diverse opinions of everyone in the class and it was interesting to see everyone's take on the situation and how they would handle it. I really liked how Nneka said that she would let Tracy lead the counseling session since it was independence that she was seeking. It is a safe way for her to get independence and it could encourage her to engage in more healthy ways of gaining independence. However, I think that I am most like Matt in my counseling skills. I think I would leave it up to Tracy to tell me why she is here with me today. Simply ask, "What's up?" I think that when adults get too much into the authority role and start preaching about rules and policies then adolescents immediately check out. It just reinforces their belief that adults just don't get it. I don't think I would have a plan with Tracy, at least not right away. I would have to try and understand her situation through her point of view, then collaborate with her teachers and family to try and come up with ways to help her. Once I gained Tracy's trust, I would offer some ways that her and I could work together.

Again, I feel that everyone gave such brilliant insight and it was a pleasure reading everyone's responses!