Thirteen-Smitty

It's a natural process for both boys and girls in early adolescents to fight for a sense of autonomy and self. In fact, I believe many adults continue to struggle throughout their lives to find one or both. Thus, supporting Kohlberg's Theory that many adults don't reach stages 5 and 6 in his moral development model.

Prior to EV entering Stacy's life, it was evident that she was struggling with feeling, emotions and an overall sense of autonomy and self. I still think she was cutting prior to EV's entrance, but I'll leave that to personal opinion. Stacy's personal domain was filled with internal conflict. Growing up too fast, no father as an emotional staple in her life, a brother that seemed to be "good" kid, a mother that struggled with drug and alcohol dependancy all played a part on Stacy's decision to pursue self destructive behaviors. Stacy's idea of autonomy was to gain independence from what her real life was all about. The escape to a chemical high was a short lived release from having to look in the mirror and have a sense of self. She was not able to look in the mirror and like what she saw. The internal pain became so powerful that she turned to a world full of chaos. Masking the true self of what she had known. Stacy appeared to have good friends and for what it's worth a mother who seemed to care and love her, but she needed more. The cutting was a sense of feeling and even when she was done, the scars and blood proved to be visual affects that she exhisted. I think that morally, Stacy knew what she was doing was wrong, but to gain a sense of status and acceptance she was willing to do whatever it took to gain a sense of independence whatever the risk may have been.
This is a real life situation that was viewed and I've seen it many times. Cutters, self-destructing behaviors, slipping grades, tardy, truancy, lack of respect for adults, they all go hand in hand in saying that something is wrong. As a counselor, my main objective is to establish a relationship with the student. As in Stacy's case, I would have used interventions such as one on one time to discuss anything that she wanted to talk about. Sure, at first, she will be in denial that anything is wrong, but with time (and sometimes not that much time), the truth will set them free and then it's time to heal. I would also not hesitate to call the parents in and use the time to talk with them about how they can help Stacy. If outside services such as counseling, family and/or individual would be beneficial. I think it's important for people like Stacy to know that I'm on her side and I'd do anything to help her. For that, there is no substitue.